A synthwave shooter for developers with a deadline.
It's Sprint 47. The build is red. You are the CI. 🧑‍💻 ☕ 🔥

You're a developer at your desk: hoodie on, headphones in, laptop glowing, coffee within reach. Down a neon corridor come the bugs, tiny at the horizon and very large by the time they reach you. missing ;. undefined is not a function. A memory leak with a live MB counter. A works on my machine in sunglasses. Every one you miss ships to production and costs you a coffee. Run out of coffee and you get a Production Incident Postmortem, with story points.

Canvas 2D, pseudo-3D, Web Audio synth. Zero runtime dependencies, zero asset files. Everything on screen and in your ears is generated at runtime, like the bugs.

_{🔥 Kill streak → RAGE full → Ctrl+Z x1000. Undo. Undo. UNDO. 18 bugs closed.}

📸 Screenshots

_{Sprint 49. QA quit. The quips are load-bearing.}

🎮 Title. Bugs drift by while you consider your life choices.	🔥 RAGE full. git push --force. 7 bugs closed.
💥 Out of coffee. SEGFAULT (core dumped).	📋 The postmortem. Story points closed: 89 (estimated: 3).

📱 Portrait: stacked HUD, a thumb band, a big RAGE button.

📱 Incidents now fit in your pocket.

📱 Landscape: full-bleed corridor, aim with your finger.

🚀 Quick start

npm install
npm run dev        # http://localhost:5173  — the sprint starts now

Or skip all that and play the hosted build at bugblaster.fanslau.me. It also runs on your machine, which, as we all know, is the only machine that matters. To play on your phone from source, run npm run dev -- --host and open the LAN address Vite prints.

⌨️ Controls

Action	🖥️ Desktop	📱 Mobile
Move	← → or A D	Drag anywhere
Aim	Mouse	Your finger's column
Shoot	Click or Space	Auto-fires while touching
Unleash RAGE (when full)	Shift or E	Tap RAGE, or two-finger tap
Mute	M (remembered between visits)	Tap SOUND
Reopen the ticket after a postmortem	R or Space, Esc for the title	Tap

🐛 Bug bestiary

Bugs unlock as your score climbs. Each new kind arrives with a NEW BUG UNLOCKED banner and unsolicited advice.

	Error label	Behavior	HP · pts	Notes from the team
🟢	missing ;	Wobbles straight at you. The junior of bugs. Comes with its own red squiggle.	1 · 10	"Prettier would've caught that."
🟣	undefined is not a function	Slow, wide wobble; flips its label to null when you're not looking.	1 · 15	"Billion-dollar mistake, ten-point kill."
🟡	off-by-one	Marches in steps. Killing it spawns exactly one more.	1 · 20	"Arrays start at 0. Mostly."
🔴	memory leak	Grows the longer you ignore it, MB counter and all. Like tech debt.	3 · 40+	"Restarted the pod. Root cause: unknown."
🔵	race condition	Jitters, teleports, sometimes reads condition race. Can't be reproduced. Try anyway.	1 · 30	"Just add a sleep(100). Fixed."
🕶️	works on my machine	Wears sunglasses. Shrugs off the first hit: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ can't repro.	2 · 35	"Your machine is a liar."

🔥 RAGE and ultimates

Every bug that ships to production fills the RAGE meter. When it's full the game starts nagging ("The meter is full. Like your inbox.") until you press Shift. Then one of these goes off:

Ultimate	What happens	Tagline
git push --force	Every bug on screen detonates, in sequence	History rewritten. Those bugs never existed.
rm -rf node_modules	Every bug shrinks to nothing	1.2 GB freed. Bugs included.
sudo !!	Re-runs the previous ultimate, with privilege	With great power comes zero code review.
Ctrl+Z x1000	Bugs rewind back into the horizon	Undo. Undo. UNDO.
kill -9	Wipe. No SIGTERM first.	No graceful shutdown for you.
DROP TABLE bugs;	Wipe, with a green flash	Little Bobby Tables sends his regards.

📈 Sprints, streaks, and the inevitable postmortem

• Sprints. Every 100 points is a new sprint: faster spawns, faster bugs, nastier kinds. Each one gets a banner: SPRINT 49: QA quit, SPRINT 52: the retro changed nothing, SPRINT 55: stakeholders joined the call.
• Streaks. 5 kills: "Pairing with yourself." 10: "10x developer." 20: "Promoted to Staff. No raise." 30: "Tech lead. Now you attend meetings." 50: "Legend. HR would like a word."
• Coffee. ☕☕☕☕☕ Five of them. Lose them all and it's SEGFAULT (core dumped), then the Production Incident Postmortem: duration, bugs squashed, bugs shipped to prod, longest streak, peak rage, ultimates fired, and story points closed, which are always a Fibonacci number because it's the law. Verdicts are data-driven: "More bugs shipped than fixed. Promoted to management." "Rage meter full, never used. Passive-aggressive, classic."

🎧 Sound

All synthesized with Web Audio: a pew per shot, a squish pitched per bug kind, an error buzz when one ships, a rising arpeggio when RAGE is ready, a keyboard-mash ultimate, a sad trombone for the postmortem, and a synthwave loop that speeds up every sprint. No audio files were harmed. M mutes, and it remembers.

🔧 How it works (the part the PM skips)

• Pseudo-3D. Entities live in world coordinates: lane in [-1, 1] across the corridor and z in [0, 1] from horizon to desk. src/render/projection.ts maps those to screen position and scale with a true perspective ratio, so bugs accelerate toward the camera and bullets shrink into the vanishing point. Collision runs in projected screen space with a depth tolerance, so a near bullet can't hit a far bug it merely overlaps.
• Desktop vs mobile. Desktop renders a fixed 960x540 logical canvas, letterboxed. On coarse-pointer devices or windows under 700px on the short side, src/render/viewport.ts switches to a fluid mode: the canvas is the page, logical units equal CSS pixels, and separate ui and world scales size the HUD and the entities. Portrait raises the horizon to make room for a stacked HUD and a thumb band with the RAGE button. Rotation re-lays everything out live.
• No assets. Sprites are drawn to offscreen canvases once and cached; audio is oscillators and filtered noise through Web Audio. public/assets/ is intentionally empty, as a statement.

index.html              # canvas + control hints
src/
  main.ts               # boots the title scene; dev-only window.__bb inspection hook
  engine/               # game loop, input (keys/mouse/touch), scene interface, Web Audio synth
  render/               # projection, corridor, sprite cache, bug/dev art, HUD, camera shake, viewport
  fx/                   # particle pool, floating text, effects facade
  content/              # bug kinds + difficulty, quips, ultimates
  systems/              # rage meter, run stats (Fibonacci story points)
  entities/             # player, bug, bullet
  scenes/               # title, play, game over (postmortem)
docs/                   # README banner, GIF and screenshots

npm run build      # tsc + vite build
npm run typecheck  # tsc --noEmit
npm run preview    # serve the production build

• Deploying. Every push to main runs .github/workflows/deploy-vps.yml: build, rsync dist/ to the VPS, flip a symlink. Served by Caddy at bugblaster.fanslau.me; the server side lives in the vps repo. Rollback is one SSH command. Shipping bugs to production has never been faster.

🗂️ Roadmap (BB board)

Key	Summary	Status	Points
BB-1	Pseudo-3D corridor, shaded sprites, particles, screen shake	✅ Done	13
BB-2	Synthesized SFX and music	✅ Done	8
BB-3	Six bug kinds with distinct behavior	✅ Done	8
BB-4	Sprints and difficulty ramp	✅ Done	3
BB-5	RAGE meter and ultimates	✅ Done	5
BB-6	Mobile: fluid layout, touch aim, RAGE button	✅ Done	21 (estimated: 3)
BB-7	Power-ups: coffee refill ☕, rubber duck 🦆, linter beam	📋 Backlog	5
BB-8	Boss bug: the legacy monolith	📋 Backlog	nobody will estimate it
BB-9	High score table	📋 Backlog	2
BB-10	Bugs occasionally reach production	⛔ Won't Fix	working as intended

🧹 Contributing

Open an issue. It will be triaged, labeled cannot reproduce, and closed. Then reopened by a customer. PRs welcome; reviews are LGTM. Merging without reading.

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_{Made with ☕, 🎧, and an unhealthy relationship with git push --force.
Blameless postmortem. (We're blaming you anyway.)}